Monday, October 8, 2012

Our Writer

Lily got a writing assignment back with a 4. To the uninitiated, that is the highest grade one can get. She got 3s for using great words and for using conjunctions, but otherwise she got all 4s. Here is a transcript of the story. I transcribed it as closely as I could so you can see how she really writes.

Oreo My Puppy

When I got home from school I was a little excited because I could be getting a dog. I really wanted a dog and my parents said they would get me one as an early birthday gift. My dad's mom and stepdad died and my dad's mom left my dad with alot of money, so they decided to pretend it was a last gift from them. We might get a dog named Toot I couldn't wait to see if we got him!

When I finished everything I had to do (homework) my mom wanted to show me something. It was a puppy! As soon as I saw him I said, "yes! yes! yes! yes! yes! YES!" But then my mom said someone else was coming before us. I started to feel really worried then my mom said, "There is still a chance." I looked at the time. "Mom! It's five fifty." "Hurry then." said my mom then I went to ballet class.

When my ballet class was done, my family picked me up. we got Zaxby's for dinner and went to the house. The people met us outside. When they opened the door, the puppy slipped on the floor, greeting the people. The people talked with my parents about the puppy's belongings, and then the puppy came to me first with my brother and parents. He chose me! Then my parents said yes, they would get the puppy. when we were in the car ride to the house we came up with the name Oreo because his face looks like one.

On the ride home I talked to Oreo. I kept looking at him because he looked so cute in his crate. We (my family) brought a towel in case Oreo was carsick he was. At first he was doing fine, but then I noticed he threw up. then, I noticed he threw up again. This time it was white. I asked my parents why it was different. The replied, "he had an empty stomach so he just spit." 

I thought it was the best day ever. I realized I was super worried in the beginning but, in the end everything came out alright. But my puppy chews everything! EVERYTHING! I love him though he's so cute. Oreo was the best birthday gift ever.